"She Has No Time"

I'm back from the journey... back from the mission. Things are still terribly wrong...

I thought I had found salvation... I thought I had finally gotten past my problems... but just 3 days worth of time with her... and my world comes crashing down again. I think I've lost my mind entirely...

I've told her on the last day that I still loved her. But my words are meaningless. We are still of different worlds. Will that change? It's very obvious that she has a special role and place where she is. While neither she or I know what God intends for her, but I could tell it is important. That leaves the question of me... I am the deciding factor. I need to make a bold move. Actually, many bold moves.

I think I need to ask myself this one scary question, "What would happen if she found someone else again?" At this juncture, it would kill me even more. I have found that my feelings for her are even stronger than before. But if I keep asking myself that, would my answer stay the same?

God, help me face my future... whether it's with or without her... I should assume the latter, but I feel driven to make the former happen. I feel the need to take action, whether it is the right or wrong decision. Even if life over there ends up killing me...

For now, just another song for me to listen to... yes... unfortunately at least for now, I've turned on emo mode... Pray for me that I turn it off soon.


Keane - She Has No Time

You think your days are uneventful
And no one ever thinks about you
She goes her own way
She goes her own way
You think your days are ordinary
And no one ever thinks about you
But we're all the same
And she can hardly breathe without you

She says she has no time
For you now
She says she has no time

Think about the lonely people
Then think about the day she found you
Or lie to yourself
And see it all dissolve around you

She says she has no time
For you now
She says she has no time
For you now
She says she has no time

Lonely people tumble downwards
My heart opens up to you
When she says

She says she has no time
For you now
She says she has no time
For you now
She says she has no time