Day 11

I have been back in Toronto 11 days. The first 4 days I was haunted... haunted by dreams... dreams about her of course. Perhaps I really am going crazy...

As I settle back to my so-called normal life, I do admit that there doesn't seem to be much sense for me to move over and leave everything I have here behind. I mean, I got a decent job w/ decent pay, I have my best friends here, and my family. Why shouldn't I stay?...

Because she is not here...

I don't understand it myself... this... endless debacle. It's been 3 years... 3 years... I am crazy.

Most people would think that I am hopeless, like I am clutching onto straws. I can't explain it. If I could, I would try to fix it. But I can't. I don't know why. I just know... I can't stop.

So I will keep walking this road I have decided upon. Perhaps this road will not lead to what I expect, but whatever the end, it is where I am supposed to be. That is what faith is about.

All things are possible with God. I just ask that I be fearless as I take each step, no matter what may cut my feet on the way...