(This will be a long one...)
We see it in the news all the time... many events unfold in the world where people's lives are suddenly taken away without warning. Reading about it from the comforts of our own homes, we seldom ever understand what kind of impact such events have on those people most impacted by them. For my family, September 30, 2006 was the day that would change everything...
I was at work that day, reaching the last hour of my shift before I was to go home on another usual Friday and weekend break. Probably eat with my dad after his golf game, and then hopefully try to find some friends to go chill with. But at 5:42 pm, the unthinkable happened halfway around the world. My eldest sister Linda called my cell phone around that time. She was frantic and had broken down into tears. I was very afraid as I didn't know what was going on until she said it, "Leslie has passed away." I could not believe it. She couldn't believe it also because Leslie's husband, Vincent, called from HK sounding also very traumatised and in tears. She was hoping that she mis-heard and that something less serious happened. I immediately called dad to try to get some confirmation and if he heard anything. The next 30 minutes were excruciating... Finally, it was confirmed: Leslie had passed away after surgery. I rushed home.
My dad was the first to arrive home after me. Not since my grandfather's passing had I seen my dad in such a state. Then Linda came over. Mom was over in China right now but we needed to reach her right away. We had no phone numbers for mom so we called our Aunt in HK and woke them up. They called my mom and told her to go back to HK right away. We didn't tell mom what happened in fear of what her reaction would be so it was best to get her to HK with ppl to be with her. Meanwhile phone calls were going back and forth to Vincent as we continued to hear what happened and why.
My other sister Grace was working and her phone was off. Linda called her workplace 3 times to try to get to her. Luckily we did. The next thing was to figure out travel arrangements to HK. But the final wait was to see when mom would get to the hospital in HK. It would take her a good 2-3 hours. She called when she got on the boat. No one could talk to her in fear of giving it away so I talked to her. I just told her to get to the hospital and to trust me to just get there. After that, I finally cried because I dreaded what was to come. To hear mom's worried voice, I knew it would only get worse when the moment of truth arrived for her.
Another excruciating wait. Finally, around sometime after midnight, she arrived. I think the whole hospital could hear her screams. We heard it too over the phone and we all cried heavily. It was so painful... still is...
My dad and I flew to HK that Sunday. My uncle and another aunt picked us up from HK station in Central. My mom was there. I just held her as she cried to me. My aunt was gracious enough to lend us her empty apartment in Wan Chai to stay. It was the same apartment I lived in on my visits to HK in 1989 and 1994. It was renovated and a bit different, but still the same place that I remembered. My other sisters would arrive later on as Grace was renewing her passport and couldn't leave until it was done. Had to wait until that night to find out if it was ready. Luckily it was so they could fly out Tuesday arriving Wednesday.
Tuesday we went with Vincent to the hospital as he had to do some paperwork. There, we went up to the 5th floor and I got to see the ward that Leslie was in. My mom had a chance to talk to the nurses and gave them a box of chocolates from Canada. Leslie wanted mom to give the chocolates when she was better and released from hospital as thanks for the care they gave, but alas... There was also another patient in the ward that suffered the same illness as my sister. So my mom talked to her and gave her words of encouragement. The other patient was very sad as well since she feared that it could also be her in the future. I can't start to imagine how she must feel.
Wednesday. Up to this point in time, everything still felt a bit surreal to me. But today, once my sisters arrived, we went straight to the hospital morgue to see Leslie for the last time before the funeral. I will never, NEVER forget that moment. To see her like that... that image will forever be ingrained in my mind. We all broke down. It was too much to bear. It finally sunk in that I will never see her again...
Thursday. Had to go to the hospital again to meet the pathologist and police rep to confirm the death for the paperwork to get going. My parents chose not to come so we siblings went along with Vincent. The pathologist explained that by HK law, any person that dies within 48 hrs of a surgery has to undergo an autopsy. This was going to delay having the funeral service for at least a week. We didn't like the sound of that, but filing a request to waive the autopsy would take a few more days and the coroner makes the final call anyway, so we decided to just let it go. The surgeon also asked to speak to us. I was a bit weary of seeing him since we don't know what exactly happened and would we hear a truthful story? Well, I still don't know what to think about it now, but what else can we do?
All that was left was to wait. We killed time in HK and also went up to China for a few days. Finally the funeral service in HK. We had a small room in the HK funeral home, and a lot of people showed up. It was a tough night. We flew back to Toronto with the casket the next day. All I'll say is, it's nice to have had so many relatives in HK. It was nice to see them all again, although I wish it wasn't under these circumstances. We got some nice service on the plane thanks to an ex-neighbor and friend of Grace's who worked in AC and spread the word to her colleagues on the flight. Many thanks to them for that.
Finally, the service and burial in Toronto. We made a slideshow to show at the funeral home this time. Oh seeing those pics made me miss her so much more. In HK, her mentor from her early teaching days gave the eulogy. In Toronto, it was given by us 3 siblings. While my sisters did most of the talking about her life, Grace found a poem that I got to read and also some last words of encouragement to my parents. We have to remember them too: to continue to live our lives to the fullest as Leslie had so that no time would be wasted.
Anyways, that was long... but I needed to write this up... Thanks if you've actually read this far. I just want to make one more request. Leslie had been suffering from
lymphangioleiomyomatosis (LAM for short) for the past year. It is a very rare disease (to the point that only thanks to Leslie did HK doctors even know it existed!) that impacts the lungs. You can go to the
LAM Canada website for more exact info. But please make a donation in honour of Leslie Chui. It will mean a lot to me.
Leslie, we love you... and we'll miss you terribly. But at least now you're at rest and in a better place. Wait for us, we'll all see you soon...
