I cannot stop listening to this simple, short piano piece composed and performed by one of the most freakiest electronica/techno artists out there... Aphex Twin. Some of his stuff is pretty whacked... yet as I have mentioned this song before, it's odd that he could create such a lovely piano piece.... In a way, it almost reflects at my odd music tastes... eurotrash/techno on one hand, classical/jazz/piano on the other... w/ a lot of other stuff mixed in somewhere in between... which I probably mentioned before... time and again...
Anyways, probably will need the more relaxing stuff tonight. Had a great weekend only to have it over-shadowed by screw-ups at work. I'm losing my edge. Doesn't help that I'm put in a semi-leadership position... I keep wondering if I'm cut out for this at all... I always feel that I'm just a worker... someone who will do what he is told, without question most of the time. Maybe I don't have the broader point of view that is needed for something like this. Or am I just psychologically limiting myself for no reason? Don't know. I still haven't finished reading 7 Habits yet... I probably should. Fuck, I have too many books to read... too little time. Maybe I should just go out and sit in a library or somewhere and READ on my days off. Shouldn't stay home, otherwise, I'll glue myself to the computer accomplishing nothing.
More disturbing dreams are haunting me... it's almost unescapable... I really think I need to do something soon.... but what would be the best plan of action? Return to the basics where it began? Or do I have to go there?... or should I not even think about it at all...? How can I though when even my own dreams betray me... This is becoming nonsense...
Times like these make me wonder if I should even still be here...
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