April 18, 2002

ARRRRGGHH!!!! I really hate this term.. I really do.....

Just to put it simply, I failed my exam yesterday..... BADLY...... and I just don't understand why I didn't remember the things I studied.... argh... I can probably point that out to the fact that the day before, I had to present my year long group project... and I had to memorize things I had to say. Basically I ended up forgetting what I've studied before.... ARGH! FSCK!! HATE this...... well, I guess it's not 100% bad since my friends in that course was kind fscked up too... but not as badly as me I don't think......... I'll pass the course, but that's not what I was shooting for. I need a C avg among my two courses and the project to remain in the Honours Comp Sci program.... and from the looks of things, that's getting unlikely. My next exam is on the 29th, plenty of time to study.. that's good... but still.. a lot of material to cover.. and since that exam is OPEN BOOK... I'm not expecting to get a very high mark... this is very bad......... definitely going to be drinking after all this is over......

Well, I guess I can revert back to my 3 year Math Sci degree if things don't work out.... it would be nice for me to get a CS degree, but going into the IT field, might not be necessary... as long as my knowledge on IT is good, and I can supplement that w/ certifications... so might not end up being that bad... but still, I'm just very disappointed. Damn, that bell curve must be pretty huge for me to get away with anything, or my project presentation ended up being ok and getting a good mark from that... dunno.

Oh yeah, my presentation didn't end up that well either! We had to improvise the entire presentation because we initially made it a kind of oral presenation but they didn't want that. They just wanted us to demonstrate our software. WTF..... that wasn't the focus of our project... I'm just scared that they'll think we didn't do much when we did end up doing quite a bit. Just that timing issues popped up that we didn't anticipate... ok.. bad excuse that will get us killed.. but still.. argh... with all the courses we had to handle, and this project too... I don't know.. I'm just really feeling low from all these disappointments... I can't wait until this is over and I can start working and learning some GOOD shitz... and I'll be driving my new car soon. YAY! Finally gonna drive a manual! MUHAHAHA! UPDATE: Well, went to the dealership with my dad today. I'm going to be getting the car very soon. But just not according to my initial plans... I had hoped to grab a Vibe (since it's technically a Toyota Matrix =P) but couldn't afford it.... 6.9% APR man... frig.. i'd be paying for how much my dad pays for his van... can't afford that for sure.. so.. will be going for a Cavalier for sure. A LOT cheaper.. and it doesn't matter anyway.. I just need a car to beat on for the next few years. Problem is, I'm going to be racking up SIGNIFICANT amount of mileage (since I'm leasing).. and looks like I will go over for sure (since I have to work and THEN commute to school too for at least a term or two... ARGH)... man.. not good... oh well, story of my life.