Then today.
A picture (or two) is worth a thousand words.
Call me shallow, call me whatever.
Why should I keep walking forward when it only brings me misery?
You are always the one I'm thinking of...
Wednesday, August 01, 2007
It's All You
I thought that now that we're on talking terms again, I could go and read her blog without it ever having an effect on me again (especially since I can't understand it. lol).
Then today.
A picture (or two) is worth a thousand words.
Call me shallow, call me whatever.
Why should I keep walking forward when it only brings me misery?
You are always the one I'm thinking of...
Then today.
A picture (or two) is worth a thousand words.
Call me shallow, call me whatever.
Why should I keep walking forward when it only brings me misery?
You are always the one I'm thinking of...
Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Uncertainty, Hesitation... stupidity? =P
A pilot doesn't have the luxury of time anymore. While the battlefields of old allows one to react a lot slower and still survive, the modern age is much too fast and much too chaotic for anyone to miss a beat.
But yet here I am pondering... I'm not exactly an ace pilot... I only have 2 to count for and only 1 of which I truly felt energized and flew hard to achieve.
Now, I have little drive... It's nice to get some hits on the radar, but tactically, is it worth it sometimes? Why am I unsure? Why am I hesitant? Maybe out of fear? And of course, sometimes it's tactically smarter to let things be instead of causing trouble... I only have enough fuel to last a bit longer. Is it worth all this or will I have to break off again?
Days like these... are just terrible for a pilot...
Sunday, July 22, 2007
Endurance, Patience, Time
Here's hoping that refuel I did was good enough...
This one is a hard one to catch. Fighting in some very cloudy skies. Lots of clouds to hide behind. And if the fight ever drops down in altitude, a lot of rocky terrain to contend with as well.
Have to stay patient. The right moment to strike will come. I just have to stay persistent and watch my fuel level.
... but I've been told to watch for other potential aircraft flying in the area. Just my luck to fly in a pretty popular airspace... I haven't seen any other planes yet, but AWACs is pretty sure about this information... I don't want to lose this one to someone else...
Focus... stay focused... bide your time...
Saturday, July 14, 2007
A Fitting Farewell
So Johnny's funeral took place this morning. Even though we somewhat expected it, a LOT of people showed up. Just a testament to how many people he may have touched in one way or another.
Mark gave the eulogy and I am glad it was him. He picked the best things to say and reached out everyone in the audience. I would probably have choked and unfortunately, I did not know too much about the rest of Johnny's life to be able to have said better. Well done, Mark.
The mass was excellent. During holy communion, we sang the song that Johnny and I heard in Rome during World Youth Day 2000 called "We Are One Body." They got the guitar just right. It was exactly that kind of rhythm and guitar that got him to love the song so much. Unfortunately, we weren't able to share it with the others because... well, they had to be there to have heard what we heard. Most ppl didn't find the song as uplifting or exciting cuz we just couldn't replicate it. I think today, they finally heard what we heard. Much thanks to the choir for allowing me to relive those days.
At the end, I don't know what song the priests sang, but that chant just hit me like a wave of water. I started to cry... just as much as I did when I first saw my sister in the hospital morgue... It was powerful. I loved that kind of music and I thought it was a worthy end and send off to my dear friend. I only wish I knew what it was... I wish I could find more music like that. I guess you can add Gregorian chant to another one of my strange music likes... heh...
So, with that done, we now begin to resume our journey in life. We cannot cease performing our duties of the moment. While I will miss having you around dude, I know that both you and my sister will look upon us all from Heaven. I await the day that we will take up to the skies together once more... I could never have asked for a better wingman and brother. Until we fly again...
Mark gave the eulogy and I am glad it was him. He picked the best things to say and reached out everyone in the audience. I would probably have choked and unfortunately, I did not know too much about the rest of Johnny's life to be able to have said better. Well done, Mark.
The mass was excellent. During holy communion, we sang the song that Johnny and I heard in Rome during World Youth Day 2000 called "We Are One Body." They got the guitar just right. It was exactly that kind of rhythm and guitar that got him to love the song so much. Unfortunately, we weren't able to share it with the others because... well, they had to be there to have heard what we heard. Most ppl didn't find the song as uplifting or exciting cuz we just couldn't replicate it. I think today, they finally heard what we heard. Much thanks to the choir for allowing me to relive those days.
At the end, I don't know what song the priests sang, but that chant just hit me like a wave of water. I started to cry... just as much as I did when I first saw my sister in the hospital morgue... It was powerful. I loved that kind of music and I thought it was a worthy end and send off to my dear friend. I only wish I knew what it was... I wish I could find more music like that. I guess you can add Gregorian chant to another one of my strange music likes... heh...
So, with that done, we now begin to resume our journey in life. We cannot cease performing our duties of the moment. While I will miss having you around dude, I know that both you and my sister will look upon us all from Heaven. I await the day that we will take up to the skies together once more... I could never have asked for a better wingman and brother. Until we fly again...
Sunday, July 08, 2007
To A Fallen Comrade, To A Fallen Brother
Last September, I lost a sister. Yesterday, I have lost a brother.
I have known him since elementary school. Initially, he was just another friend on the playground. Another chinese lad to play with. When the Kuwait invasion and Operation Desert Storm took place in 1991, I discovered that he too had a passion for military things. A deeper friendship was born. From that point forward, I found someone who shared an interest that no one else seemed to have, at least at the level that I had.
High school, our friendship grew deeper as I started going to the same church as he and his family. We went to our first religious retreat together in 1996 (both "sponsored" by our respective mothers). Both discovering a fire for our faith, that we weren't alone in this road. He didn't come with me to France for World Youth Day in 1997, which was too bad. I wondered what advice he would have given me when I met my 2nd girlfriend there (and if he would smirk whenever I would ditch him for her =P). But we continued to go to the same yearly retreat together almost every year for a good 6 or 7 years since then. We've met new friends along our journey, shared our pain and disappointment whenever our aspirations for female companionship never worked out at the time, but above all, just had a lovely time talking about things with a military twist/analogy or just quoting memorable quotes from Simpsons or whatever else we've watched together.
He was finally able to join me to World Youth Day in Rome in 2000. I will never forget that trip. We had a lot of fun there, sharing our 'military hierarchy' view on the Church, pledging our allegiance like soldiers to the end, him buying a 6 pack of beer and bringing it back to our cabin when I thought it was a bad idea, and just having a good time with everyone there. That was a good trip.
Even funnier is how our lives almost ran in parallel to one another or we both reached certain milestones with strange coincidence. We ended up moving to the same neighborhood in our OAC year, then when I first got my job at Telus, we both worked similar jobs with similar 12 hour shifts, and how we both finally moved out of those jobs to something more stable one after another. The only thing that was different perhaps was how our love lives alternated. I dated, he didn't... then at last he dated, and I didn't. All these coincidences and events just made us wonder if somehow, somewhere, our lives were tied together in some strange fate. We certainly found it humourous.
While I will always cherish the memories that I have of him (as I'm sure all of you who knew him would), a part of me can't help but feel torn knowing that the future will never be the same without him... that all the special moments that both he and I would experience that we could share will never be known. He had big plans this month that I hoped to witness, whether to congratulate him or poke fun and drink with him should he not succeed. I would expect no less from him if it was me in his place. Now I can only wonder... just like when my sister left us last year. I could only imagine how things would be like if she was still around.
Knowing that his sacrifice through organ donation has allowed the salvation of 15 other people puts me more at ease. Now I will continue living once again reminded of the fact that there's little time to waste. Whatever we desire doing, whatever we hope to achieve in this world, do it now. There will never be a better time. I just wish I did not have to see the face of death so many times to remember that...
So long Johnny boy... Every airshow I see, every spectacular aircraft or other vehicle I watch go by, every museum I visit, I will always think of you because you would probably be the only one who would go with me. I can only think of the words they put on the tombstone of British WW1 Flying Ace James McCudden:
"Fly on dear boy from this dark world of strife
on to the promised land of eternal life."
Johnny Lo
May 4, 1979 - July 7, 2007
I have known him since elementary school. Initially, he was just another friend on the playground. Another chinese lad to play with. When the Kuwait invasion and Operation Desert Storm took place in 1991, I discovered that he too had a passion for military things. A deeper friendship was born. From that point forward, I found someone who shared an interest that no one else seemed to have, at least at the level that I had.
High school, our friendship grew deeper as I started going to the same church as he and his family. We went to our first religious retreat together in 1996 (both "sponsored" by our respective mothers). Both discovering a fire for our faith, that we weren't alone in this road. He didn't come with me to France for World Youth Day in 1997, which was too bad. I wondered what advice he would have given me when I met my 2nd girlfriend there (and if he would smirk whenever I would ditch him for her =P). But we continued to go to the same yearly retreat together almost every year for a good 6 or 7 years since then. We've met new friends along our journey, shared our pain and disappointment whenever our aspirations for female companionship never worked out at the time, but above all, just had a lovely time talking about things with a military twist/analogy or just quoting memorable quotes from Simpsons or whatever else we've watched together.
He was finally able to join me to World Youth Day in Rome in 2000. I will never forget that trip. We had a lot of fun there, sharing our 'military hierarchy' view on the Church, pledging our allegiance like soldiers to the end, him buying a 6 pack of beer and bringing it back to our cabin when I thought it was a bad idea, and just having a good time with everyone there. That was a good trip.
Even funnier is how our lives almost ran in parallel to one another or we both reached certain milestones with strange coincidence. We ended up moving to the same neighborhood in our OAC year, then when I first got my job at Telus, we both worked similar jobs with similar 12 hour shifts, and how we both finally moved out of those jobs to something more stable one after another. The only thing that was different perhaps was how our love lives alternated. I dated, he didn't... then at last he dated, and I didn't. All these coincidences and events just made us wonder if somehow, somewhere, our lives were tied together in some strange fate. We certainly found it humourous.
While I will always cherish the memories that I have of him (as I'm sure all of you who knew him would), a part of me can't help but feel torn knowing that the future will never be the same without him... that all the special moments that both he and I would experience that we could share will never be known. He had big plans this month that I hoped to witness, whether to congratulate him or poke fun and drink with him should he not succeed. I would expect no less from him if it was me in his place. Now I can only wonder... just like when my sister left us last year. I could only imagine how things would be like if she was still around.
Knowing that his sacrifice through organ donation has allowed the salvation of 15 other people puts me more at ease. Now I will continue living once again reminded of the fact that there's little time to waste. Whatever we desire doing, whatever we hope to achieve in this world, do it now. There will never be a better time. I just wish I did not have to see the face of death so many times to remember that...
So long Johnny boy... Every airshow I see, every spectacular aircraft or other vehicle I watch go by, every museum I visit, I will always think of you because you would probably be the only one who would go with me. I can only think of the words they put on the tombstone of British WW1 Flying Ace James McCudden:
on to the promised land of eternal life."
Johnny Lo
May 4, 1979 - July 7, 2007
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