"As long as a trace of hope remains, people will continue to struggle..."
Either someone put that damn fire out now, or we start running with it.
It always comes down to making a simple decision that really isn't that simple... although it should be...
Sunday, June 17, 2007
Thursday, June 14, 2007
A small crack...
I walked out of that room, and I closed that door behind me... only to mull in front of it for a long time wondering if I could go back in.
Naturally, I find the door locked. That pretty much should have been the end of it. But I walk away many times, only to find myself creeping back towards it each time.
So the front of that door became my little spot. I would sit there everyday, always wondering, always thinking, and never having any desire to leave. "That door will never open again." they say, and it took me awhile before I realized they were right. It probably would never open again...
Now I hear the bolt of the door. It is no longer locked. Just when I thought I would be walking away from this door for the last time... Now this.
A million thoughts and feelings flood my mind. Questions abound.
Should I knock?
If I do, would the door open?
If it opens, do I dare try to step inside again?
Or will it slam in my face for the last and final time...
Maybe just open it enough just to see that view one more time...
Naturally, I find the door locked. That pretty much should have been the end of it. But I walk away many times, only to find myself creeping back towards it each time.
So the front of that door became my little spot. I would sit there everyday, always wondering, always thinking, and never having any desire to leave. "That door will never open again." they say, and it took me awhile before I realized they were right. It probably would never open again...
Now I hear the bolt of the door. It is no longer locked. Just when I thought I would be walking away from this door for the last time... Now this.
A million thoughts and feelings flood my mind. Questions abound.
Should I knock?
If I do, would the door open?
If it opens, do I dare try to step inside again?
Or will it slam in my face for the last and final time...
Maybe just open it enough just to see that view one more time...
Thursday, June 07, 2007
The First Week of June
Usually, when the month of June comes around, the first thing that comes to my mind is that I will soon be growing one year older. I also have friends that have birthdays in the same month. That's usually what I think of first, always. Later on, I think about what else it is about June that I can remember, and I can think of two major historical events: D-Day, the invasion of Normandy on June 6, 1944, and Tiananmen Square on June 4, 1989.
Why I remember D-Day should be obvious. I love military history. World War 2 is undeniably a very important event in our history. If D-Day did not succeed, the war would have gone on longer, and we may not have been able to achieve the victory we needed to stop the Holocaust. Or even if the Russians did, it would have meant the entire European mainland could have ended up in communist hands. Who knows what might have been. Most people would focus on the European theatre since the Nazi's were the 'evil' people. But for me, the Pacific was more close to home since that has more to do with me being Chinese. Just that I haven't really read or seen much about the things that happened in China. Not many documentaries on that over here. Still, D-Day was important for Europe. For the Pacific, it would actually be a third event that also happened roughly the first week of June in 1942... when the US won the Battle of Midway. That changed the tide of the Pacific war. I think we owe our lives to that battle.
Tiananmen Square... oh... how I remember... I was actually in HK during that time in May when the protests just started. I had no idea what exactly was going on but in a way I knew that this was something big. I think I saw a lot of hope from the ppl in HK that this could be the watershed event that could bring China out from communist control or something. Something hopeful... something powerful... something great. I flew back to Canada on June 4. When I arrived home, it was all over the news. The army had gone in. I was pretty shocked. Even at my age, I knew what that meant. I thought China was doomed. Communism would never go away in that country. The people there would never be free. It was a pretty sad night.
Of course, looking at how things are now... well, it's debatable if it's better or worse. Personally, I think it's 50/50. Sure, China is a big market. Capitalism is all good and dandy there now. But of course, at what cost... There's still a lot to go for China. While we western countries are not exactly perfect either, but I do hope that China will one day come close to our level of justice and fairness that we take for granted here.
The first week of June was full of events.
Why I remember D-Day should be obvious. I love military history. World War 2 is undeniably a very important event in our history. If D-Day did not succeed, the war would have gone on longer, and we may not have been able to achieve the victory we needed to stop the Holocaust. Or even if the Russians did, it would have meant the entire European mainland could have ended up in communist hands. Who knows what might have been. Most people would focus on the European theatre since the Nazi's were the 'evil' people. But for me, the Pacific was more close to home since that has more to do with me being Chinese. Just that I haven't really read or seen much about the things that happened in China. Not many documentaries on that over here. Still, D-Day was important for Europe. For the Pacific, it would actually be a third event that also happened roughly the first week of June in 1942... when the US won the Battle of Midway. That changed the tide of the Pacific war. I think we owe our lives to that battle.
Tiananmen Square... oh... how I remember... I was actually in HK during that time in May when the protests just started. I had no idea what exactly was going on but in a way I knew that this was something big. I think I saw a lot of hope from the ppl in HK that this could be the watershed event that could bring China out from communist control or something. Something hopeful... something powerful... something great. I flew back to Canada on June 4. When I arrived home, it was all over the news. The army had gone in. I was pretty shocked. Even at my age, I knew what that meant. I thought China was doomed. Communism would never go away in that country. The people there would never be free. It was a pretty sad night.
Of course, looking at how things are now... well, it's debatable if it's better or worse. Personally, I think it's 50/50. Sure, China is a big market. Capitalism is all good and dandy there now. But of course, at what cost... There's still a lot to go for China. While we western countries are not exactly perfect either, but I do hope that China will one day come close to our level of justice and fairness that we take for granted here.
The first week of June was full of events.
Saturday, June 02, 2007
Direction to Intercept
"Unit One, we might have something for you."
"Go ahead."
"Single bandit. Approximately Three Zero miles out your 8 o'clock low."
"Looks good. I'm going for it."
"Good hunting Unit One."
"Roger that."
Wednesday, May 30, 2007
May 30, 1973
Today would have been Leslie's 34th birthday.
Yesterday, I went to Pacific Mall to buy a chestnut cake for today. Chestnut has always been her favourite. Not sure if we went to the right place but the cake is good.
This morning, we 3 siblings and dad met up at the cemetary at 10am. The monument is finally up. It was put up just this past weekend. Interesting that the timing worked out. They sent a picture of it to my mom and Vincent in HK so they saw how it looked. It's a pretty good monument. We are very pleased.
Having the monument suddenly makes this even more real to me... Before it was just a barren plot. But now, seeing the monument with the name... it just hits even deeper. I'll never forget that first visit to the morgue though... that image will never leave me.
It's definitely a bittersweet day. Happy 34th Leslie...
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