Tatuya Ishii - River (Gundam Seed ED2)

Nani mo ka mo umaku yukanai modokashisa ni
Aseru kimochi wo osaete
Hagayusa to iradatashisa ni kokoro midare
Kakaekonda hiza kozou
(Nothing is going the way it should
I hastily subdue these feelings of impatience
All this anxiety and nervousness is sending my heart into disorder
Just a boy hugging his knees in the midst of it all)

Kuyashisa wo koraete namida ni furuete
Naita yoru ga akeru
(Shivering and in tears, I repress all my regret
I cried all night, but now it seems dawn is breaking...)

Sou
Tashika ni kimi no iu toori da yo
Ima nara hikikaeseru keredomo
Tsumaranai iji wo haritsuduketeru
Arukihajimeta ijou akiramenai
(So, undoubtedly you're right
Even though right now I may try to turn back
And I keep on being stubborn about it, though I know it's monotonous
I'll start walking again, this time even farther, and I won't give up)

Mou ichido kono te ni chansu wo...
(If I could get just one more chance...)

Subete kono mune no naka ni shimatte okou
Yume ga kanau made...
(I'll keep it all locked away in my heart
Until my dreams come true...)

Yarusenai hakanasa ni mi wo yudaneru hodo
Sonna ayaui jidai ni
Agaitemo te no todokanai kishi wo mezashi
Muga muchuu de oyoida
(I surrendered myself to a dismal emptiness
in the most critical of times
No matter how hard I tried, I couldn't quite reach
Aiming for the shore
I had to swim for my life)

Nagare ni sakarau koe mo agerarenai
Yukitomari no basho de
(Withstanding the current, I can't even raise my voice
It could have been the end right there, but...)

Sou
Ai ga subete tasukeru to wa
Omowanai dakedo kimi no hohoemi
Kokoro wo iyasu sono kuchibiru ni
Tachiagaru yuuki wo morau no sa
(I don't think that love can save everything,
but there's something about your smile
that somehow healed my heart, and in your lips
I found the strength to stand up again)

Mou ichido kono te ni chansu wo...
(If only I could get just one more chance...)

Kawa no nagare wa kyou mo hageshii keredo
Kimi no te wa hanasanai
Itsumo kono mune no naka no ai wo shinjiteiyou
Yume ga kanau made...
(The flow of the river is intense even today
But I won't let go of your hand
I'll believe in the love that's in my heart forever
Until my dreams come true...)

Sou
Ai ga subete wo tasukeru to wa
Omowanai dakedo kimi no hohoemi
Kokoro wo iyasu sono kuchibiru ni
Tachiagaru yuuki wo morau no sa
(I don't think that love can save everything,
but there's something about your smile
that somehow healed my heart, and in your lips
I found the strength to stand up again)

Tashika ni kimi no iu toori da yo
Ima nara hikikaeseru keredomo
Tsumaranai iji wo haritsuduketeru
Arukihajimeta ijou akiramenai
(So, undoubtedly you're right
Even though right now I may try to turn back
And I keep on being stubborn about it, though I know it's monotonous
I'll start walking again, this time even farther, and this time I won't give up)

Mou ichido kono te ni chansu wo...
(If only I could get just one more chance...)

Kawa no nagare wa kyou mo hageshii keredo
Kimi no te wa hanasanai
Itsumo kono mune no naka no ai wo shinjiteiyou
Yume ga kanau made...
(The flow of the river is intense even today
But I won't let go of your hand
I'll believe in the love that's in my heart forever
Until my dreams come true...)

The Needs of the Many....

"No matter how exotic human civilization becomes, no matter the developments of life and society nor the complexity of the machine/human interface, there always come interludes of lonely power when the course of humankind, the very future of humankind, depends upon the relatively simple actions of single individuals." - from The Tleilaxu Godbuk, DUNE MESSIAH by Frank Herbert

..... sometimes, don't we all just wish we were such individuals?


......... maybe.... just maybe.... in His Plan....... we are...........

When your own brain isn't enough, maybe it's time to buy another one =P

Gaaah... absolute organizational hell!!

As if there wasn't already enough proof that my time management skills are pure shit... got so many things to catch up on.. work projects, doing things for GT, and of course, the other parts of my life such as plans w/ friends and all that... yes, I finally have some actual plans with people for once... =P

My organizational skills in the big picture are so terrible... I need to find a way to sort it out better. I need some kind of calendar software.. similar to MS's Exchange that I have at work... I can run some kind of resident proggy that pops up when an appointment or something comes up... I actually think I have something like that but I don't know how to use it.. rofl. Maybe I should reinstall it and see....

Gonna collapse from all this... *THUD*

A picture is worth 1000 words

Found something really neat.

http://home.f01.itscom.net/spiral/t_rando/t_rando1.html

It's an abandoned amusement park somewhere in Japan. Very cool pictures.

Apparently, there's a whole website full of pics of abandoned areas:

http://home.f01.itscom.net/spiral/research.html

Looking at the pictures while listening to a bass-less chillout ambient tune is quite an interesting experience.... very chilling in the scary sense, yet at the same time, very thought provoking.

It just makes me think, if the day humanity dies off, will the resulting world look like this? Our legacy left behind... waiting for someone else to discover? I like this kinda stuff... heh.. no wonder I'm such a Sci-Fi fan.... outworlders seeing Earth for the first time after humanity is long gone, only to find the remains of our civilization... very cool.

I dunno, my last blog entry seemed very disorganized and messy, but it seems my life feels that way. I am kinda peeved lately for various reasons. Life is pretty blah... very blah.

And I Ran... I Ran So Far Awayyyy...

Somehow, the theme of "running" came into my head last night as I struggled to get to sleep so I could make it to work this morning. I failed big time as I overslept by two hours, waking up at 7:15.... didn't get to the office until an hour later. Worse off, I had to work at the Airport Rd. datacentre so that's why it took so long. Fortunately, nothing was happening that needed my immediate attention. I'll just stay the extra hour to make up for the time I was late.

So why was I thinking about running yesterday? Simple... first one is obviously my desire to keep a jogging habit going. I missed last week, but I guess my huge ass walk downtown w/ Johnny was good enough... I haven't been able to jog more than 10 minutes anyways... my anemia won't allow me to go any further so far. I guess I should take it easy since I'm just starting off. Next is to take up a sport. One option has been golf as I know quite a few ppl that play. I could always do that easily. Second is someone mentioned some recreational volleyball. Might give that a shot too even though I suck majorly. Maybe this will help me build my upper body.. hahaha..... sigh...

Second reason is probably the one that disturbs me the most.... I want to get away from here.... just for a short while... I wanna take a vacation. Somehow, something made me feel completely sick to my stomach, something just made me wanna say.. "JUST FUCK THIS SHIT!" I just wanna walk away from it all.... just get away from certain things.... Maybe it's because I'm getting a very good sense of where I wanna be, who I wanna be around, and what kind of people I want to meet from now on. I'm starting to get a better sense of self identity that perhaps I've never truely realised until now. I have to admit that I now understand why I will never want to move to Asia. In pure simple terms, I just do not belong there. I belong here. I am a North American. I will never fit in anywhere else. That's it. I just don't fit in there...

Maybe I'm being stubborn again, and maybe I'm being selfish. Somehow, I just don't seem to give a rats ass anymore... I think after an entire life of bending my back for some people, I just can't do it any longer. Not that my back will turn straight rigid right away, because one cannot build a strong spine when there wasn't one there to start with =P. But, I just get the feeling I know what I want to get away from... and I think it's time to take that into consideration when I make some choices. However, it makes me feel like I'm running away from my problems again. Like as if I've ever really faced them seriously head on. It's just the way I've always been... ran from a fight until my back was against the wall... ran from responsibility... I just... keep running away. Right now, I feel like doing the same again. Just get away from everything... too bad I can't take time off. Maybe I should go somewhere during my 3 day breaks. Should be good enough for a road trip or something... but then, not like anyone can come with me... Oh well, alone time is something I've gotten too comfortable with anyways.